Good Grief!

Another sleepless night. Another weird song/poem. This one is inspired by my writer’s block (read prev. post).  Anyway, here’s the stuff I wrote -

In love with a girl I’ve never known,

Captivated by a smile I’ve never seen,

Crazy over kisses I’ve never felt

Don’t know how it happened,

but fiction blurred with reality.

I ache to write about her,

but I can’t find the words to describe her.

Never thought I’d fall in love,

And yet, here I am,

irrevocably in love with someone who doesn’t exist.

Close my eyes in the dark of my room,

I can almost feel her lips on mine,

Shivers run down my spine.

Spend every moment tortured by a memory that never was.

How can it be I wonder -

How can a love so false feel so true?

That’s about it. Can’t believe I’m so hung up over this story. I’m not even writing about something I’ve gone through but I still feel connected to it.

P.S. – Let me clarify, I’m not love with some random girl in reality. Too lazy to love.

Writer’s Hell

I’m living in writer’s hell. Reached what seems to be an insurmountable obstacle. All day long I sit with a pen in my hand, trying to put words together. I’ve managed to jot down a few things.  In my heart I know that if I don’t write this story, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Its a love story. Below is an excerpt of what I’ve written -

‘Loving her becomes harder everyday. She is my oxygen, the very essence of my life; and yet I mean nothing to her. She wakes up in the middle of the night, dresses up and then leaves. I tell myself to walk away while I still can. But then, I remember her smile, the way her lips moved against mine, and I freeze. I don’t know know whether I’m just in love with her or addicted to her. I don’t want her to be with me if she isn’t happy with me but I don’t want her to be happy with someone else either. I know its selfish but I want her in my life, I need her in my life.’

I wonder if what I’ve written is good or even decent. And since my readers seem to have abandoned me, I doubt I’ll ever know.

P.S.- Haven’t decided the sex of the narrator yet. Male or female – which is better?

The Idiot

Have a really bad migraine. One might think I’d stay away from the computer screen but as most of you know by now, I’m unpredictable. Somewhere under my extremely intelligent facade is an idiot just waiting to break free.  This idiot does not understand the concept of self-preservation. The idiot thinks sitting on a couch all day long is self-preservation – because that’s the position she’ll be fossilized in.

This idiot also firmly believes in not studying for crucial entrance exams which will literally make or break her life. Studying is something she abhors – an unnecessary evil. The last time she studied, she almost failed her board exams (57 % is so not cool).

My alter-ego is like Ford Prefect minus the Betelgeuse ethnicity of course. The idiot in me sees no wrong in roaming the universe wrapped in nothing but a towel. She also likes telling people the world is going to end very soon. (Let this not be a call to duty to orbiting Vogons. The intelligent me still needs to own a Ferrari.)

P.S.- Readers who didn’t understand the last paragraph must buy a copy of Douglas Adams’ Hithchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. All earthbound species must read this book.

Capitalist

I am pleased to announce that from now on my blog posts will have uppercase letters wherever needed. If you’re unhappy regarding this matter, feel free to keep your complaints to yourself. I don’t take kindly to criticism.

Goa. Finally!

i am finally going to Goa. for an entire week. i finally have a reason to be delirious with happiness. i’m already picturing myself lazing around on the beach, going to different churches, hogging on seafood etc. its going to be a summer worth remembering. which reminds me – i have to buy sunscreen. bleh!

i’ll be travelling by car, which is good because i haven’t been on a road trip in a really long time. anyone has any preferences for road trip music? i like listening to Nirvana, Dire Straits, Joan Baez, Norah Jones, Etta James and Sinatra while travelling. however, my all time favourite is Edith Piaf. she’s absolutely brilliant.

i still have a lot of packing to do. hopefully, i’ll be done by tonight. have some last minute shopping to do tomorrow.