pointless existence

just came across a blog -http://beforeshedies.wordpress.com/. basically, the author of the blog, Kate, has decided she must read 1001 books before she dies. readers of my blog might think i approve of such an amazing idea and yet, i don’t.

Kate is 18. that’s my age. and i don’t like knowing that there are freakishly intelligent teens out there. lament of the unintelligent, some might think. not true. i read too you know. i may not have read Metamorphoses by Ovid but I have read Voltaire (in your face Kate!). and anyone who hasn’t read Douglas Adams deserves to die a slow and painful death. however, the point remains the same – intelligent teens must be banned! (if you haven’t figured it out yet, i’m jobless and i like making up conspiracies and banning stuff.)

next topic – the bird armies concept is spreading like wildfire . after all, i came up with it. a lot of people, 11 to be precise are freaked out by the whole ‘mutated-birds-eating-away-at-humans’ thing. soon, 12 people shall be freaked out and then my plan for world domination shall be fulfilled (or some such less awe-inspiring thing).

today, i abandoned my usual routine of watching tv and lazing around my room. i actually clicked photographs of flowers in my garden. i also took photographs of phallic fruits. for some reason, trees in my garden insist on producing these. aliens may be responsible for this selective mutation of fruits.

P.S. – my sincere apologies to Kate for bitching about her. i would make it up to her, except i lack the willpower to get off my beanbag and do stuff for someone else. sorry again! but i really do think that her plan is amazing. hope she succeeds.

the musings of an idle mind

its not very difficult for readers of my blog to ascertain just how lazy i am. i move between 3 locations inside my house during the day – my bed, the sofa in front of the tv and the kitchen. i remain happily unaware of everything else in my house.

do celebrities use soaps or shower gels? do acting schools have a special class on staring for wannabe soap actors? will gravity ever cease to exist? and if it will, will the birds form a massive army and kill us for invading their aerial territory? does China have a fake China hidden away in some corner? – these are just some of the things i ponder on when i’m lying on my bed or watching tv. in my spare time i also try very, very hard to learn latin. i don’t know why i bother really. from what i gather, other than the Vatican and the Opus Dei, no one else really bothers with the whole latin thing (damn you, Dan Brown for adding petrol to my fiction-fueled imagination).

P.S. – just saw this documentary on BBC about released detainees from Guantanamo Bay. there was this one Chinese guy, who decided to leave China in order to avoid persecution. which country does he flee to? – AFGHANISTAN! who does that? its like he didn’t like the execution method used in China, so he decided to get killed by the Taliban instead. what a doofus!

parte deux

presenting part two of ‘love crap’.

everywhere you look, you’ll witness love in some form or the other. the gambler who loves his cards, the mother bird who lovingly feeds her children (she does feed them worms but still, the point remains the same), the wife who loves her husband too much to see beyond the abuse. love is twisted, non-sensical and quite inexplicably, the most joyful thing in the world.

i don’t have the greatest of role models when it comes to issues such as love and committment. believing in love is something that took a very long time for me to do. i joke a lot about love. how the guys who fall in love with my friends (or me, for that matter) will have to be ridiculously dumb. i hope none of them take me seriously. after all, for every idiot in this world there is always another idiot.

it is my firm belief that everyone falls in love. i mean, even hitler had that eva bitch. if any of my (7+2) readers love someone, here’s my advice to you-please tell that person how you feel. the sooner you say it the better. i’ve seen how hard it can be to be in love with your best friend etc. being happy as long he/she is happy (even if its with someone else). don’t resign yourself to destiny and God’s will. be courageous and honest about your love. wow, i’m really beginning to sound preachy now.

the gist of all the nonsense typed above is-love and love freely. don’t put boundaries on yourself. because that would defy the very meaning of love.

P.S.- just re-read the last parapgraph and realized that i sound like a hippie. cool, eh?