Changes etc.

I just realized that my blog is now 1 year 1 month old. Completely forgot about the milestone in July. Anyway, the point of today’s post is to recap the events that have occurred since I started putting up posts.

For starters, I’m finally going to do what I’ve always wanted to do – become a chef. However, the year I spent studying economics wasn’t a complete waste. I learned a lot. Did lots of crazy stuff. Became an expert at bunking lectures. I didn’t just sit around though. I remember walking through the tree-lined lanes of Bhandarkar Road, exploring the hill near the Ambedkar Memorial, talking to old-timers of the city, clicking photos of bungalows in side-lanes, eating chaat on the roadside in the monsoon last year. I’d go with Creep for a movie every week…sometimes it would be more than one. Remember getting high on citrus vodka in the afternoons at Creep’s awesome apartment.

The following is a list which details the things I’ve discovered since July, 2009.

1. 75% compulsory attendance is actually COMPULSORY.

2. I can walk freakishly long distances every day and still not lose an ounce of fat. Astonishing.

3. I make seriously good steamed caramel custard.

4. I’m very creative when it comes to rhyming stuff. sample – ‘ when love is in the air, the hair stands on the bear.’

5. Akshay Kumar is handsome but really can’t do comedy. Poor guy.

6. I’m incapable of keeping my room clean for long time periods.

7. I hate shopping. Thank you Official Criminal and Hong Kong dame, for making me hate it even more.

8. New ambition – own Zimbabwe. Love the inflation rate – 516 quintillion %.

9. The only way to counter puking while drinking is to drink more often. Increases one’s tolerance.

10. Michael Cera is my husband (OMG, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World! – major nerdgasm). If only he knew of our relationship.

11. Staring at a guy’s shoes for more than an hour can lead to embarrassing situations. The guy actually asked me if I’d met him before.

12. Pretending to be in a fake lesbian relationship with your best friend is a lot of fun.

13. Not having credit on your phone is very sucky.

14. Nike’s staff needs to be nicer to girls with big feet.

15. Doofenschmirtz is the world’s greatest scientist. Sorry Einstein.

That’s about it. I’m sorry if you died while reading this post. I provide no compensation. Sorry again. If, however, you are still alive, don’t worry, you will die soon.

i’m back

after a brief hiatus, i’m back with more conspiracy theories, dead onions and a somewhat less inflated opinion of my self. ok. none of the above is true. except for the ‘dead onions’ bit. they really did die. RIP dead onions. i shall remember thee.

i really enjoyed these past couple of weeks. watched some great movies, had lots of fun with my friends and i’ve finally become happy. for the first time in my life, i was honest with my family and its lifted a load off my shoulders. more details on the matter will not be given in this forum. but i’m glad the truth’s out. i feel free.

anyway, i’ve been thinking- what if i write a book about my ‘aliens, vikings and ducks’ conspiracy theory? you guys think anyone will buy it? it’ll definitely be something different. i think its a good idea. the introduction to my book will be written by Doofenschmirtz in the language of ‘pure evil’. i’m thinking of asking my useless friends to guest write a few chapters. wow, i really need to get a life.

P.S- the post is tagged with ‘sex’, ‘boobs’ and ‘booze’ just for fun. i apologize to all those who thought they’d just found paradise. you perverts!

and now for something completely different..

further investigation into the ducks matter has reached a dead end. all we know is that Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc. is involved. hopefully, we’ll find new leads. or in this case, a platypus named Perry.

moving on, i saw two movies today- Percy Jackson and Up In The Air. former was awful. never seen such forced acting. Hades was depicted as some sort of gay lord of the underworld. to make matters worse, Zeus looked like he would start crying if he didn’t get his lightning bolt back. its the perfect movie to watch if you want to get over the whole ‘Greek god body’ concept. Luke, the son of Hermes, looks like a drug addict. every scene is so unintentionally funny. this movie also contains one of the horniest film depictions of Persephone. you should watch this movie only if you haven’t had a good laugh in a long time.

Up In The Air was a gazillion times better than Percy Jackson. Clooney etc. acted brilliantly. even though the movie was decadent, it wasn’t the sort of decadence that makes you feel uncomfortable. it had subtle humour, nice music..just the kind of movie i like. Anna Kendrick totally deserves that Academy Award nomination.

i think i just unintentionally reviewed two movies. i’m awesome that way.

P.S- i’m still losing readers. NOT! for all those who didn’t get the whole ducks thing, read the post titled ‘aliens, vikings and ducks’.